Tale As Old As Time
by JediKnightoftheRougeSquadron
Summary: Claire, a Twilight hater, is given four blank books and sent into the Twilight world. She immediately hates it, but as the pages fill up and life goes on, will she go home when her story is finished? Will she even want to?
1. Prologue

**Hi guys, this is my first Twilight fanfiction, so bear with me. Reviews would be heavily appreciated. _Heavily_. **

**Disclaimer: It's obvious, but here we go: I don't own Twilight.**

xXx

_Tale as Old as Time,_

_Song as Old as Rhyme,_

_Beauty and the Beast_

_ ~Beauty and the Beast _

I'd seen how much my life had changed over the path of the past few months. I'd lived through what I thought was a nightmare, but I'd found a perfect fantasy and I'd wished that it'd never had to end. My perfect fairytale.

But the end was inevitable, I'd known that. There's always a problem. Both Romeo and Juliet die at the end of the play. My last wish was that only Juliet would have to die, and that Romeo could live his life. Death was a frightening prospect and yet, now I know that it was worth it. Because I'd never thought that I'd have to have this happen, I'd not taken any precautions. But when you've lived something through that you already know the plot to, you realize it can't be changed.

And the last words I uttered were, "I love you, Edward. I love you forever and ever."

And then the hunter lunged at me, ready to spill my blood.


	2. Doubter

**Reviews would be heavily appreciated. _Heavily_. **

**Disclaimer: It's obvious, but here we go: I don't own Twilight.**

xXx

"Claire, take that back!"

"I will not. Bella is weak and unstable. Edward is unrealistic. Jacob is just there to be jealous. Face it, Hannah, _Twilight_ just doesn't cut it as a piece of fiction."

"And you can claim this just because you're an aspiring author."

"No, I claim it as both a reader and writer. And _Twilight _creates a cult that leaves girls waiting for Edward to bite."

My best friend cradled Twilight against her chest. "I hope you eat your words someday."

I snorted. "As a writer, I eat words all the time. And, it's in alphabet soup."

"You know what I mean."

We were doing a quiet argument in the William T. Cozby Public Library, more commonly known as the Coppell Public Library.

A librarian strolled by. She noticed the book my friend held.

"Oh, _Twilight_. Well, that is a fascinating piece of work."

I snorted.

"Ah, a doubter."

This time Hannah snorted. "You have no idea."

"I see. Young lady, have you read the series?"

"Yeah," I responded. "I had to. I become OCD about reading books and finishing series. Once I start the first book, I read them all."

"Follow me."

I followed her to the librarian's longue where she picked up a book and gave it to me.

"Your very own copy of _Twilight_. I want you to read it thoroughly. Every doubter that is a teenage girl needs one. I also have _New Moon_, _Eclipse_, and _Breaking Dawn_."

She then piled three more books onto the already thick one in my hands.

"Um, thanks, Mrs…"

"Mrs. Meyer."

I looked at the iconic items: an apple, the flower, ribbon, and chess pieces. I decided maybe I would burn them once I got home. It would be terribly ironic. Maybe I would even rip them into little pieces first.

"Good-bye now."

I drove the family car, a Toyota Honda with several battle scars, home.

My mom asked, "Did you have a good time at the library?"

"Yeah. Some librarian gave me the entire Twilight Saga, saying that every doubter needed one. Especially one who's a teenage girl."

"Well, perhaps, you're not giving enough of a chance, sweetheart."

"Great," I mumbled. "Even my mom feels the need to lecture me on the amazingness of – freaking – Twilight."

I then stomped to my room upstairs, its lilac color walls calming.

Out of sheer boredom, I flipped open _Twilight_ expecting to see the familiar thing about the forbidden fruit and other nonsense and hunters sauntering forward to kill Bella. Blah, blah, blah. But to my surprise, the book was blank. The only thing that was there was a note on the inside cover saying, _To my doubter friend. Clarissa, I hope you enjoy it. Mrs. Meyer._

How'd she know my name was Clarissa? Claire, she probably could've overheard from me and Hannah, but jumping to Clarissa as my full name was a stretch.

And a blank book? Who gives people books and treats it like some great work of art and it's blank? Nobody sane, I tell you.

It was growing dark outside, and it's in the summer time, so that means it's actually growing late, but before I got into bed, I hunted down my mother's copy of _Twilight_, which actually took a long time. 459 pages, with about 34 pages left for an excerpt for _New Moon_. I checked the blank copy of _Twilight_ and sure enough at the bottom of each page had a label up to 459 pages and 34 extra pages not numbered, with a few pages at the front for the table of contents and the scripture from Genesis.

Odd. But it was getting late now, and I needed to get my sleep, or my over active imagination would start cooking up some theory about all this. And my theories are crazier than the Area 51 conspiracy theory. I placed _Twilight_ on the stack of the Twilight Saga on my bedside table, placing my Broadway's _Beauty and the Beast _CD on top to act as a paperweight to keep the cover from sticking up.

I went to sleep to find a girl and a boy, conversing quietly in a meadow. The girl looked a lot like me, with caramel hair, - not blonde, but not brown – and blue eyes. The boy was obviously a vampire; his crystal skin was glistening in the brilliant sunlight. And I heard Mrs. Meyer's voice telling me, _this will come to pass soon. I hope you have a wonderful time._

Gradually, I woke up from that dream.

I woke up to a nightmare.


	3. Niece

**Thanks for the favorites, guys, but reviews would really help, because it would help me improve my writing. Here's the second chapter.**

xXx

I woke up with my head leaning on a car's headrest in the passenger seat. The interior of the car was mostly gray; the weather outside matched. It was dark and gloomy. A man was sitting in the driver's seat, but I didn't recognize him. I'd never met this man before.

Eventually, I noticed the car radio that police use across the dashboard, and the fact that this man had brown hair and brown eyes. I put together two and two and deduced that this was Chief Charlie Swan of the good town of Forks, which must mean…

I groaned.

He smiled even as he kept his eyes on the road. "It's about time you woke up, `Rissa," he said, "but even though your flight was late, it's still pretty late for you to wake up."

So he knew me – even though the fact was that I didn't know him – and had even given me a nickname. Go figure.

"Charlie?" I blinked, my eyes still sleep-heavy.

He smiled. "Yup, your Uncle Chuck reporting for duty."

Since when have I had an Uncle Chuck?

"Hey, I got a truck for you," he said, softly patting my knee, "real cheap."

I already knew what kind of truck it was, but hey, I decided to ask anyway for the heck of it.

"What kind of truck?"

"It's a red Chevy. I bought it off of Billy Black, one of my old friends down at the La Push Reservation."

"I know it's going to be great, Uncle Charlie. Thanks."

He was positively beaming.

"So where's Bella?"

His smile faltered. "Honey, I thought you knew. When you agreed to come stay with me so I could see if she would come see her new cousin, but she refused, saying that you would take the second bedroom and she wouldn't want to make you have to share. But I could hear it in her voice. She's her mother's daughter; she hates Forks." He sounded so depressed that I felt upset too.

"But I like it. I like the forests and greenery, the way it rains all the time. Forks is a place of renewal. It's a place of hope." I said gently, and I was surprised that I was sincere.

His eyes were lighter, and I could tell that he greatly appreciated my comment. "Thanks, `Rissa," he said, "what would I do without you?"

I decided not to answer that question.

As we pulled up the driveway to the house, I spotted the red Chevy in the driveway immediately. I loved it at first sight. I'd grown up with and driven battered cars. I didn't see the dents as blemishes, but as battle scars on a proud warrior.

The house was what I'd always imagined Anne of Green Gable's house would look like: small, but with white paint with green on the shutters. It was a house out of a fairytale.

I loved Bella's – I mean, my – bedroom: its soft blue walls, faded yellow curtains, a bed, a second-hand computer on a desk, and a bedside table with a CD player/alarm clock sitting on it.

I played my _Beauty and the Beast_ CD, and tried to fall asleep as I listened to the familiar tunes. In the middle of _Home_, I felt a sudden urge to check the _Twilight_ book that I'd unpacked from my Swiss Army backpack which had followed me to this world, with my old supplies, only they were all blank. There were about three or four pages filled, all from my perspective. In place of the publisher's logo, there was a green coat-of-arms, which I knew to be the Robinson family crest.

Weird. But I turned off the light and tried to calm my mind for tomorrow. Tomorrow, Charlie – pardon me, _Uncle Chuck_ – was going to take me to see Mr. Greene, the principal of Forks High School, and I would get my schedule and also to hopefully mostly avoid the Cullens. And I had my truck, which was epic. When I get home, I'll ask for one…

And I drifted into a dreamless sleep.


	4. Student

**Thanks to serena83 who reviewed; all you others need to step up to the plate. Anyway, enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Twilight (although I did make up the book _Songs of the Sea_ used in this chapter.**

xXx

I woke up to the sound of the alarm going off. I peered at the clock. 6: 30. I yelped as I scrambled out of bed. I was going to be late for my first day at a new school. Right. Yes, I'm sadly pathetic, but since we've known that for a while, you don't need to comment.

I felt compelled to check the _Twilight_ book, and what do you know, there was no scripture from Genesis and no prologue about hunters coming to kill me, thankfully. Maybe, if I was good, if I steered clear of the Cullens as much as possible, then maybe I could also avoid James, Victoria, and Laurent. Irina wouldn't hate the Cullens because the werewolves had killed Laurent. James would still be mated with Victoria for eternity. If I avoided the Cullens, it could produce an entirely different result to the series. And I would just have a normal hum drum life while the books filled up with descriptions of mundane stuff, like washing the dishes.

Wow, you know, if I ever manage to read the stuff written down in those books, that might be the only time that I ever manage to read the _Twilight_ books so thoroughly.

The thought made me snort. I went downstairs and hunted down a box of Cheerios for breakfast. Charlie had gone to work, leaving a green Post-It note on the countertop, saying _I'll be there in the middle of first hour. Love you. _It was signed Uncle Chuck.

I stuck the post-it note in the _Twilight _book, which I figured, I should take to school with me.

I got into the cab of the truck, thinking, _This is my truck_. I love this truck. I started the ignition and drove to Forks High School, using the directions Charlie had left for me so that I wouldn't be totally lost.

I walked into the office to find Mrs. Cope, the secretary, reading a gossip magazine. I politely cleared my throat, and when she still didn't look up, I said, "Hi." She finally put down what clearly must have been an engrossing account of how some random couple was breaking up again for, like, the fifth time. Her gaze was scrutinizing; it was actually pretty creepy.

"I'm Clarissa Robinson." When she didn't respond, I prompted, "Chief Swan's niece?"

"Oh, yes," she said, eyeing me even more interestedly. "Wait here. In about half an hour, Mr. Greene will see you and your uncle about your schedule. You can sit in a chair and do something quietly while you wait."

I thanked her, and sat in a grey chair and pulled out my book entitled _Songs of the Sea_, a story about a young witch specializing in fire magic and a young wizard specializing in water magic must unite to save the world, hating each other until they gradually watch each other's back enough that they start falling in love. It's actually quite good, especially compared to _Twilight_. All that sappy romance…no. Sorry, but no. Action packed with a little romance, sure.

About fifteen minutes and twenty pages later, Charlie came in, still dressed up in his uniform, and put his arm around my shoulders while I was lost in the world of Brianna and Edmund. I was eventually roused from the book by Mrs. Cope informing us, "Mr. Greene will see you and your niece now, Chief Swan."

Charlie and I walked into the principal's office and he and Mr. Greene talked it out: I mainly tuned them out and snuck glances at my book every once in a while.

"What do you think, Claire?"

"Huh?"

"Would you like to have a combined English/Creative Writing class?"

"Yes!" I then felt a little embarrassed about my outburst as the principal looked at me oddly, so I said more quietly, "Yeah, that would be great."

"Excellent. I'll print out your schedule and then you are free to go to second period, Miss Robinson."

"Thank you, sir," Charlie said gruffly, and they shook hands. I was stuffing my book back into my backpack when Mrs. Cope came in and handed a schedule to Mr. Greene, who then handed it to me. I eagerly scanned the schedule. Dang it, my English/Creative Writing class was first period, so I wouldn't have that today. But then my eyes stopped on sixth period in horror.

Charlie gave me an awkward, one-handed hug, but I was still frozen at the sight of those small black letters.

I have sixth period Biology.

I'm doomed.


	5. Perplexed

**Sorry I haven't updated, but I couldn't find my paper copy of this until a few days ago, and until now I haven't had the time to put them up. Please review.**

** Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

><p>Second period was Government with a man named Jefferson. Does nobody else see the irony in that? Anyway, he presented a long, rather boring lesson that I really couldn't care less about, and I didn't pay attention at all, writing my story under the desk, and occasionally glancing up every once in awhile or so, and adding a, "Hmm" and "Yeah", a technique perfected in freshmen year in my math class. I don't pay attention in class, unlike stupid Isabella Swan.<p>

Third period Geometry was horrible. I had to introduce myself in front of the entire class, and really, what am I supposed to say?

_Hi, I'm Claire Robinson. I live in the year 2016. I'm seventeen years old. This is the year 2005, which means I've traveled back in time 11 years. I'm supposed to be living in Texas as a six-year old. I'm stuck in an imaginary world because I hate it. And guess what? You're all a figment of someone's imagination? Ya gonna eat those fries_?

So I simply stammered out something acceptable and made my way to my seat next to a shorter girl with voluminous dark curly hair that made up a lot of difference between my five feet six inches and her actual height. The one and only Jessica Stanley certainly is a motor mouth, if nothing else. The actual lesson was incredibly boring, and I didn't pay one lick of attention to it.

Jessica walked with me to Spanish, which was fun because we had random people cussing at each other in a mixture of Spanish and English and the teacher was a cool, laid-back sort of person. Since my dad had lived in Argentina for a while before moving back to the U.S., he'd taught me some Spanish, and I knew enough to get by, even if I was a bit rusty.

And then came the subject you've all been longing to hear about. The Cullens at lunchtime. Bella described them as the most beautiful people that she'd ever seen, perfect beyond belief. So I looked for faults to find with them, like how Rosalie had strangely shaped eyebrows. How Emmet's nose was a bit too long and how Jasper – if I squinted I could see them – had those scars. These small faults made me feel better, and I could see that vampires, as much as Bella made them out to be, were not practically perfect in every way. Jasper and Rosalie were still blonde angels, Emmet and Alice were still respectively ginormous and pixie-like, and Edward was, well…Edward. The boy who took away every girl's breath except mine. He was too perfect.

What struck me the most was that he stared at me with frustration as if he couldn't read my mind. My face split into a wide grin. I would never let him forget this. This would be totally sweet.

Lunch ended, and it was time for Biology. I walked into the Biology classroom, and sure enough, the only empty seat was next to Mister Edward Cullen. I handed the slip to Mr. Banner, and he handed me a textbook in return, along with the signed slip. I sat down at the spot next to Edward, getting out my green spiral notebook reserved for Biology and turned to the pages in the textbook written on the chalkboard. I was acting perfectly normal, until I saw the clenched fist on the table.

Edward was leaning away from me as much as the desk allowed, as if he'd smelled something bad. This was how he'd treated Bella when he'd first met her. But it didn't make any sense. I wasn't Bella.

I took the same notes on the same lesson that I'd learned in ninth grade, making diagrams and clear, concise notes in the margin – I can't stand not being neat when I write notes. It annoys the heck out of me if I try to read them later and I don't understand what I wrote. A few minutes before the period ended, I finally finished, and began doodling on the front of m notebook. True to the book, he was out of his seat, just before the bell rang, and out the door before I'd even gathered my belongings, which left me in a state of considerable confusion. I was lost in my thoughts until a voice said, "You're Clarissa Robinson, right?"

"No, Claire," I corrected Mike Newton. "I bet my uncle Charlie calls me Clarissa, though."

"Yeah. What's your next class? Maybe I can help you find it."

"P.E. in the Gym. I _think_ I can find it."

"That's my next class, too!" He sounded way too enthusiastic about this. Talk about over friendly boys. Thanks for the heads-up, Bella.

Thankfully, I didn't have to dress out for P.E. today, even though he'd found me a uniform. I mostly worked on my story in the corner, about an alien sent to Earth to help save it.

As soon as gym was over, I headed to the office to return the slip, where who should be there but a certain redhead arguing with Mrs. Cope to see if could trade from sixth-hour biology to any other time.

The door opened as a girl stepped in to place a paper in a basket, and the wind blew to upset papers, rustle the secretary's and Edward's hair, but more importantly to blow my already loose ponytail holder out of my hair, and to swirl my hair around my face. I froze as Edward turned around to glare at me, back stiff. The glower only lasted a second, but it was enough to make me shiver as I stared back into those black, bottomless, hate-filled eyes.

He turned back to Mrs. Cope and said hastily, in a voice that sounded like velvet (yes, actual velvet) said, "Never mind, then. I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help." And then he turned on his heel and stormed out the door, without giving me as much as another look.

I handed Mrs. Cope the slip, feeling unusually pale.

"How'd your first day go?" she asked me maternally.

"Fine. Just fine." But my voice sounded strangled, even to me. And nothing today had made sense. My last though before leaving the office was _What the heck is going on_?


	6. Let it Snow

**Sorry that I've been gone for so long, but I lost my paper copy of this, then found it, then lost it again, and there were points in there that I was practically married to my instrument for band.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

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><p>A week passed, and still Edward Cullen hadn't come back. I felt way too paranoid, almost like Bella had been. But, I mean, come on, how many of you have been sucked into an imaginary world, then met a highly annoying vampire, only to have him react to you like he would to the girl that he supposedly loves.<p>

I convinced myself that he'd just liked a spot away from everyone so that he didn't have to fight bloodlust, and that I'd blown it for him. He'd been incredibly thirsty, as proven by his black irises last week. But a week seemed too long to recover, surely.

I tried to mostly shrug it off, but it hovered at the back of my mind like the imminent rainclouds of Forks. _No,_ I told myself firmly. _I do not want to be another Bella Swan, and I do not plan on being one_.

Most of all, I missed Grace and Julia, and all my friends back home. I missed Hetalia, my favorite anime television show. I missed…well, everything, really. It really puts its perspective on you when you lose everything. I even missed _Hannah_, the Twilight freak, for goodness's sake.

I finally finished my Spanish worksheet, (because I'd slacked off for nearly the entire lesson) and was let out for lunch, and it was freaking _snowing_ outside. Rain, I can handle. I draw the line at snow.

"Isn't the snow great?" Mike said, laughing and shaking his hair as he walked beside me.

I answered shortly, with an honest opinion. "Nope."

"Aw, come on, Claire, you have no sense of fun."

I snorted. "No, I just don't like snow."

"But snow is fun."

I bent down, supposedly tying my shoes. "I admit, it does have some redeeming qualities," I mused. And then I threw the snowball at him.

He laughed. "Hey, that's not fair."

"What's not fair?" I smirked.

He bent down and threw a snowball at me. "Okay, now we're even."

I gasped. "Why you-"

What ensued was a long snowball fight that nearly soaked me to the skin. We entered the cafeteria about ten minutes later, and I found that Edward had finally come back.

Stupid moron that he is.

He was with his adoptive siblings, and they were all laughing, even Rosalie (dear goodness, the world must be ending). Emmet was shaking his hair towards Rosalie and Alice, who were leaning as far away as humanly (or is it vampirely?) possible. Thankfully, he seemed to be in a good mood today, and his eyes were a weird yellow color, which I assumed meant that he'd fed recently.

I finished scarfing down my lunch, which meant I could go to biology whenever I felt, and I felt like being responsible, so I left to the classroom.

Having a few minutes to spare, I pulled out the story I'd been working on, and scribbled furiously a couple of notes to myself in the margins. After a few minutes, I felt the chair next to me scrape back and get pulled back into the desk. I ignored Mr. Next Messiah. If we were going to be friends, or anything remotely close to it, then he was going to have to make the first move.

"Hello, my name is Edward Cullen."

"No freaking duh."

He seemed to be suppressing a smile. "You must be Claire Robinson."

"No, I'm not. My name is Grace Carroll, and I have an older brother named Joe, but nice to meet you."

"Really?" He looked confused, and his brow was furrowed.

"No, you dork. Of course I'm Claire Robinson."

"Oh," he said, and his brow eased out.

I burst out laughing.

He frowned. "What's so funny?"

"You are so gullible," I said.

"I'm not usually. I can usually tell the truth if I hear it."

"What are you? Some kind of mind reader?"

He smiled. "Something of the sort."

"All right," I thought for a moment before deciding. "I am a twenty foot tall purple platypus with pink polka dots all over my body."

He thought for a moment, before shrugging. "You're good."

"I get it from stealing my neighbor's saxophone over so many years."

He snickered.

And in that moment, I decided that maybe I could like Edward Cullen. Maybe.


	7. Spinning

**Hi, I apologize for the really slow update. I lost my paper copy of this about five times, and then I was gone for hours at a time, to work on being Puck in a Midsummer Night's Dream. But I hope this chapter is okay for all of you. **

**I don't own Twilight.**

I woke up, and it was snowing. Again.

I didn't really feel too eager about going to school. Just because yesterday I had formed a tentative relationship with Edward did not mean I was head-over-heels with him.

But I forced myself downstairs and ate breakfast, chewing slowly so that I didn't show up too early to school. The only thing that made school better were my Spanish and English classes.

You see, in this tiny inconsequential town of Forks, they lack the necessary funds to obtain worthwhile extracurricular activities like a soccer team. Or a band program.

I sure hope that this time-traveling experience was only a temporary fix. I mean, if I go two years without practicing my trombone, my band director will kill me.

I drove to school, wondering how this _extraordinary_ day could get any worse. When I got there, I learned just how much it could.

Thank goodness that Uncle Charlie had been nice enough to put on snow chains. I bent down, tracing the zig-zag pattern, feeling a little bit guilty about how early he'd had to get up to put them on.

But my thoughts were interrupted when I heard the sound of screeching tires. I whirled around to find a van skidding on the ice toward my truck, and therefore me.

I froze up, terrified. A huge van skidding towards you can tend to do that to you. I will admit; I was so scared that I didn't move.

I was distinctly aware that Edward Cullen was nowhere near me; in fact, he was next to that stupid Volvo of his, which was parked across the parking lot.

Then he was just…there, pinning me to the ground. My head started throbbing from where it had hit the slippery asphalt. The van had smashed into the back corner of the truck, but it still hadn't rid itself of all its momentum.

Edward swore so low to hear it. His hands shot out protectively and buried themselves into the van, leaving a crater in the already scratched dark blue paint. The van stopped not a foot from my face.

Within the next few seconds, he held up the van with one hand, swinging my legs around, until he simply let go of the van, which settled onto the asphalt right where my legs had been one second ago. I'm not sure I even want to think about it…my legs would have been crushed for sure.

I cursed at myself inwardly, berating myself for forgetting this. I could've avoided it.

There was a split second of absolute silence before the screaming began. In all the chaos, I could hear lots of people calling my name. it took me a few seconds to understand what Edward was repeating, more fervently each time.

"Claire, are you all right?"

"I think so…well, at least, I'm alive." I tried to sit up, but he wouldn't let me.

"You hit your head pretty hard," he said, tightening his grip on me. "You need to be careful."

"I'm fine," I snapped. He let me sit up a little bit before I fell back into his arms, wincing at the throbbing in my head.

"That's what I thought," he said, barely suppressing a smile.

"Shut up."

At this, he smiled, not even bothering to hide it anymore.

Meanwhile, I began starting a steady stream of German cuss words going around in my head. Not out loud, of course, because I'm pretty sure that he would have told me that it was "unbefitting for a lady" or some other crap like that.

There was an ambulance, of course, and Edward, unsurprisingly, told them I'd hit my head. Honestly, I could've been dead, but of course, since I'm alive, I have to be all healed up, etc. The entire school was watching as the hospital workers put the neck brace on, but since I don't really give a hoot about what people care about me, I'm fine.

I started falling drowsy, which isn't that surprising, because I can pretty much fall asleep anywhere. And since it felt like the best thing to do right then, I decided to let myself sleep. And I slept, and slept, and slept…


	8. Not Just An Expression

**I'm really sorry about the wait. Please forgive me.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

I woke up when they moved me inside. They x-rayed my head and I sat on one of the hospital beds after that. Edward maddeningly showed up again.

"Nice neck brace," he offers.

"Yeah, haven't you heard? Neck braces are the new thing," I say sarcastically.

"Why are you so sarcastic?" He asks.

"Why does Uranus revolve differently from the other seven planets?" I counter. "Maybe something knocked it out of its orbit. Maybe it has a quality that remains undetermined and causes it to move in a vertical orbit instead of a horizontal one."

"Does this charming bit of information have a point?"

"Maybe."

We stared each other down for a few seconds, until he leaned back in his chair and let out a big _whoosh_ of air.

"You really don't we me to figure you out, do you?"

"Maybe I'd like to remain a mystery for the most part."

We fell silent for a few seconds, until I asked him, "Why are you so concerned about me?"

"So I can't try to understand you, but you can try to understand me."

I recalled a quote from my favorite T. V. show of all time, NUMB3RS – which had just premiered a few nights ago – and said it. "'Nobody's perfect isn't just an expression. It's a statistic.' I want to look for the things that make you not perfect."

"You know, some people might consider that unfair."

"Life isn't fair, buddy. A fair is where you go to ride rides."

A thoughtful look passed over his face. However, it was replaced with a smile as a blonde doctor swiftly came our way. As the man drew near us, Edward said, "That's my father, Carlisle. I'll introduce you."

Carlisle was one of the few characters I enjoyed in the Twilight series. He was a kind parental father figure who was gentle and treated the Cullen "siblings" as if they were his own kids.

"Hello, Edward," Carlisle said, "Who's your friend?"

"Claire, this is my father, Carlisle Cullen. Carlisle, Claire."

"Hello," Carlisle said. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Claire."

"It's nice to meet you, too, Dr. Cullen," I said as we shook hands.

"Yes, well, it appears that you don't have any damage," he said. "Your x-rays look good. You'll be able to leave soon, I should think. Your uncle is in the waiting room. However, I would advise going home and taking it easy for the rest of the day, perhaps along with some Tylenol. But I can help you out of that neck brace seeing as you really don't need it."

He took off the brace and I rolled my neck to release the stiffness. I thanked him for it and set off for the waiting room, but I walked by Tyler as I walked toward the waiting room.

"I'm so sorry, Claire!"

I cringed. I'd forgotten that I'd have to deal with this, too.

"I'm fine, Tyler. They're actually releasing me right now. Besides, you're the one that got hurt."

"But you could've been killed!"

"But I wasn't."

"Still!"

"Okay, look, Tyler, I'm not dead. The crash was not your fault. And I got off better than you. So save yourself the guilt trip, please, and move on."

I then bolted out of the room before he could react properly.

When I dashed into the waiting room, Uncle Charlie pulled me into a tight hug before holding me at an arm's length, a critical eye sweeping over me, checking for damage.

"I'm fine, Uncle Charlie. I didn't get hit."

"Yeah, well you'll have to tell that to your parents and your aunt."

Well, this will be fun…

Apparently, my entire family had been born eleven years earlier, because my brothers were still 19 and 15. My mom and dad were both really concerned about me, but I tried to blow it off as nothing.

But it wasn't as bad as Renee, who was in hysterics. Which I found to be really interesting, because she is my _fictional_ aunt. But after I calmed her down, she asked if I wanted to speak with Bella.

"Sure, I guess."

"All right, sweetie, I'll give her the phone."

I waited for a few seconds while Renee handed Bella the phone.

Up until this point, I didn't really know what my cousin's voice might sound like.

"Hello."

"Hi."

There was an awkward pause.

"How are you doing in Forks?"

"Hmm? You mean the land of ceaseless rain? Eh, it's mostly fine."

She laughed. "Well, it's good to hear you're not dead."

"They're letting me stay home for the rest of the day."

"You should be let out of school all week."

"Well, I'm enjoying it while I can. It happens to be snowing again."

"Oh, yuck."

"Yeah, snow…just no. Rain, I'm fine with, but snow is an entirely different story."

Her tone remained amused. "And how does this story begin?"

I made my voice dramatic. "It begins, my dear friend, with two brave you maidens, named Bella and Claire, from the kingdom of the Sun, who must journey to the kingdom of the Snow. And this, my friend, is their quest…" 


	9. Matchmaker, Matchmaker

**Hey, guys, I know it's been a while since I've written, but I hopefully will get back into my regular schedule as school goes on.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

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><p>I spent the rest of the week discussing Broadway musicals with Edward. Today we were discussing Fiddler on the Roof. I liked the musical because of its unique feel and music. He liked it because of the main character, Tevye, but disliked the rest of the characters because he believed that they were very petty.<p>

I scowled at him. "They act like regular people. If that's not normal, then I don't know what is."

"They just seem to be very petty," he said.

"News flash: Real people are petty. Have you been dead for the last hundred years?"

He smiled. "Something like that."

I groaned. I hate it when I make a reference to his immortal life like that. He grins like he knows something that I don't, which is even more aggravating because I do know.

I really should consider going in for counseling.

I had PE next, and Mike and I had to doge Tyler just to get to the gym. He'd been freakishly worried over me. So would I if I'd nearly killed him, but I tried to interact with him as little as possible. I felt bad for him though.

Mike, however, for reasons unknown, became more confident. And he's mentioned something about a trip to La Push for a group trip, which I hadn't been too excited about, because it meant yet another boy in my little world.

As much as I hated Twilight, Jacob Black had been one of my favorite characters (but only in Twilight and the first half of New Moon). He had a personality unlike Edward. Then the author decided to make them the Supernatural Love Interest Interchangeables. Which is one of the reasons why I'd never really bought into the love triangle. Maybe back when Jacob was Jake, a happy-go-lucky kid. But I'd lost interest after Jacob became the next Edward.

I'm blabbing, aren't I?

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. Jessica called me one night while I was eating Chinese takeout late one night. I'd discovered that my backpack contained my iPod, which made me really happy while nervous. I'd practically poured my soul into my iPod, constantly having it with me. But this was a point in time where I had a device that was currently nothing more than a daydream. So I had to be very careful so Charlie didn't walk in on me using it.

Jessica asked me if I would give her permission if she could ask Mike to the spring dance.

I did a spit-take, my noodles becoming free-flying projectiles, gulped, and said, "You're seriously asking my permission?"

"Um, yeah," she said nervously. "But I was just wondering if you wanted to ask him."

My mind protested heavily against the thought because dancing and I don't mix. So I told Jessica, "Ask him. I can tell you want to." When she began to protest, I told her, "Your argument is invalid."

However, the next day, when Jessica wasn't bubbly like how she was 24/7, I knew Mike had turned her down and was going to ask me. Knowing that something like that is coming is annoying, but even double so when you know that you can do nothing about it.

When Mike perched on our biology desk that day, Edward and I had been arguing about Anatevka's tendency to rely on everything the matchmaker, Yente, said. Finally it got to the point where Edward and I ended up silently fuming at each other.

Mike said, "So, Jessica asked me to the spring dance."

"She did?" I asked, happy that she'd gotten the gumption to do that. "That's great!"

"I told her that I'd have to think about it," he said.

"And…why exactly did you do that?"

"I was…wondering if you wanted to ask me."

"No," I said bluntly, but softened at his kicked puppy expression. "I'm not going with anyone?"

"Why?" he asked, confused.

Because I have better things to do than go to a dance. Because I want to listen to my iPod, which totally does not exist. Because I want to go skydiving. Because I'm going to create world peace that day.

But I chose a more sane explanation.

"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday," I said, opting for a plausible excuse, the one Bella came up with. "I'm going to find a book that I haven't found back in my hometown. It used to be in our library but isn't anymore. And I just found it in a Seattle bookshop."

"Oh," he said, disappointed.

"Why don't you tell Jess yes to her invitation," I suggested non-too-subtly. "I can tell she's really excited about the dance."

He didn't reply but went back to his seat by the window. The second he was out of earshot, Edward started humming the song, "Matchmaker, Matchmaker" from the musical. I scowled at him and told him to shut up. At that he just smiled.

The next problem was Eric, who was leaning against my truck after school.

He seemed to be nervous. "Will you go to the dance with me?"

"I thought it was a Sadie Hawkins," I deadpanned. He looked at me blankly.

"You know. _Girls ask the guys. It's always a surprise: there's nothing better. Baby, do you like my sweater_?"

He gave me a strange look, but admitted, "Well, yeah."

"Sorry, I'm going to Seattle that day," I said, not really caring if I hurt his feelings. Mike had been annoying enough. Why the author of this book would do this to a character is beyond me.

I got into my truck and started to get out of the parking lot. I had to, however, come to a complete halt behind Edward's Volvo. He was stopped and waiting for his siblings, and I saw them crossing the parking lot. I noticed Tyler's "new" car, a Sentra, pulled up behind me. He waved to me, and I ignored him, because otherwise I probably would have to mail my parents for that hockey stick I own, so I could terrorize the boys of Forks.

But Tyler got up out of his car and walked up to my door. I rolled down my window to tell him, "Sorry, Tyler. Edward's being a total jerkface right now, and it's him causing the holdup, not me."

"Oh, yeah, I knew that," he said, grinning. "Can I ask you something while we're trapped here?"

When I didn't respond, he took that as a yes.

"Will you ask me to the spring dance?"

The only sound to be heard in the parking lot was my trucks horn, as my head had crashed forward to meet the steering wheel.

Thankfully, Tyler correctly interpereted the signs and deserted. I finally took my head off the steering wheel, to look up, as the other four Cullens slipped into Edward's Volvo. Edward was shaking with mirth and I knew that he'd done that just to annoy the heck out of me.

My response was to flip him off, which only made him laugh harder.

I wanted so badly to run over their car, but there were human witnesses. When I was wondering whether or not I'd like to become a death-penalty-receiver (even though they would survive it), Edward sped out of the parking lot, leaving me wanting to find out how to kill Edward Cullen.

I went home, and made some bean quesadillas that are very easy to make but taste so beautifully good.

I asked, "Hey, Uncle Chuck, is it okay if I go to Seattle the Saturday that's a week away?"

"Why?" he asked.

"Well, I'd like to check out a book that I found. I've read it before but it went out of print a couple years ago. But I found a copy in a bookshop at Seattle."

He still looked at me as if he thought it wasn't a good idea.

"I'll be fine," I say. "I can handle myself."

He seemed to believe me. After all, he knew I've played hockey since the age of seven. If I knew nothing, at least I knew how to kick someone's butt.

"But you're not going to the dance?"

"No," I said bluntly.

He knew better than to argue with me.

I went to sleep after listening to some music on my iPod.

I woke up the next day and went to school. Sadly, Edward Cullen was standing outside my truck as I pulled in.

He asked me, "So would you like a ride to Seattle?"

I blinked. "What?"

"You said you were going to Seattle," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Um, no," I said, confused. I turned to the building but when he didn't follow, I paused.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked.

"No," he said, running his hand through his hair. He turned to me and fixed me a crooked smile. Sometimes it's healthy to ditch."

_Well, okay then, Edward Cullen,_

I thought as I went to Creative Writing/English. _You have fun with that._


	10. The Woes of Cafeteria Food

**Hey guys! Sorry that it's taken so long, but I actually got inspiration on a LOT of things about this story just a little while ago, and I will hopefully be working WAY harder on it. Anyway, on with the story!  
>Bonus points to anyone who gets the reference in this chapter.<br>Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

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><p>Mike and Eric met me outside of English class - after I had ended up being tardy (thanks a lot, you stupid vampire) - so I figured that I wasn't totally unforgiven.<p>

Mike was still incredibly excited about the trip to La Push, and hoped that a trip would be able to happen this weekend, because (shockingly) there wouldn't be any rain.

By the time I'd made it to Spanish, I was hungry. (But then again, I'm always hungry in Spanish.) When I got to lunch, I remembered that I'd forgotten my lunch at home. So there I sat, hunger gnawing away at me. I noticed that Edward wasn't sitting with his siblings, because he was probably ditching right now. I mean, I had a clear vantage point, pshht, you people assume too much. But Jessica brought it up again.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you again," she said. "I wonder why he's sitting alone today."I twisted around in my chair to spot him. He was sitting at one of the tables that was usually unoccupied. As he caught my eye, he grinned and beckoned me over towards him.

"Does he mean you?" she asked, insulted.I groaned as I got up. "Probably," I said. "I'm sure it's nothing, though," I added, quickly.

I walked over to him, folded my arms over my chest, and said, "I thought you were ditching."

"Not until later," he said.

"What do you want, then?" I hissed at him.

He just smiled and asked, "Why don't you sit with me today?"

"Fine," I grumbled as I sat.

There was a pause.

"Well?" I asked, after a few short, impatient moments of silence.

"I guess you might want to know that I'm going off the deep end now."

I raised an eyebrow. "That's it?"

"Um…" as he grasped at something, before looking over at my friends and laughing. "I don't think your friends are very happy with me because you came over here."

"Oh, yes," I deadpanned. "They will back on this day and wonder why they weren't good enough for me to spend time with them."

"I might not give you back to them," he said, with that weird way of his.  
>"Ooh, I'm soooo scared," I said as I rolled my eyes. "But seriously, what brought all this?"<br>"I told you – I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up."

"Hey," I said, hungrily eyeing his slice of pizza. "If you're not going to eat that, can I have it?"

He glanced down at his tray. I pointed to the slice of pizza. "Huh? Sure."

"Score," I whispered as I took it. I started eating it from the crust because I'm just that way.

"Where was I?" he asked, as he stared off into space.

"Australia," I mumbled through a mouth full of pizza.

"Oh, yes, Australia…" he said before trailing off and narrowing his eyes. "Wait a second…"

I shrugged, and then decided to tell him the truth instead of making more references. "You mentioned giving up."

"Yes – giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may."

"Ooh, you're such a bad person," I say sarcastically. "So basically, we're friends now?"

He grinned. "I suppose. But I should warn you right now that I'm not a very good friend for you."

"Pfft, same old, same old. Newsflash: I've already heard you say this a million and one times before."

"Because you don't listen to me."

"And why would I?"

"Because it's the smart thing."

I burst out laughing.

"Listening to you is smart? Please." I calmed down slightly, saying, "I think I'm able to pick my own friends, thank you very much. If I'm not smart for listening to you, then can we be friends?"

He thought about it, then smiled. "Sure."

We talked for a couple more minutes, when I realized that the cafeteria was empty.

"Holy shoot, I have to get to class," I said as I jumped up. I looked at him when he didn't move.

"This is where I start to skip," he said. I nodded and walked off.

I got to my seat in Biology relatively quickly. Mr. Banner came in, with a bunch of cardboard boxes, and passed them out to everyone. "Okay, guys, I want you all to take one piece from each box," he said.

Something about the pizza I'd eaten didn't feel good. Maybe it's just the fact that I hadn't eaten cafeteria food in…five years, give or take a few. I'd stopped numbly eating anything that looked or smelled like toxic waste. But they couldn't have messed up pizza, right?

I was wrong.

Mr. Banner continued speaking. "The first should be an indicator card, the second a four-pronged applicator," he said, first holding up a white card with four squares marked, and then something that looked like a hair pick (a very small comb for those of you ignoramuses) with almost no teeth, "and the third is a sterile micro-lancet," which, almost needless to say, is a needle.

"I'll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare you cards, so please don't start until I get to you."

My stomach fluids started churning around at a more rapid pace.

Mr. Banner put a drop of water in each square of Mike's card. "Then," he said, "I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet."

The pizza was starting to threaten to make a reappearance. I swallowed down the first upheaval.

Don't think about it, I tell myself. Don't think about how disgusting it is, or the feeling that you get in your mouth right before you hurl...

"Put a small drop of blood on each of the prongs," he said.

I couldn't smell blood. Blood hadn't ever bothered me. That one slice of cafeteria food was my reactant, instead of blood, like Bella's had been.

But it was too late.

I ran to the nearest trash can and hurled.


	11. Narnia

There were cries of "Take her to the nurse!" and "Oh my gosh, are you okay?"  
>"Can someone take Claire to the nurse?" Mr. Banner asked.<br>Mike volunteered. Mr. Banner asked me, "Can you walk?"  
>I nodded shakily, then leaned on Mike heavily as he led me out of the classroom towards the nurse's office. We made it to the edge of the cafeteria, where I asked him, "Can I just sit for a moment?"<br>He let me sit, and I laid my head in my lap between my knees to try and let the nausea pass.  
>"Wow, you're green, Claire," Mike said.<br>I looked up at him. "Noo, Mike. I'm purple."  
>"Claire?" Edward's voice rang in the distance. "What's wrong – is she hurt?"<br>"No, I'm perfectly fine," I responded. "Aside from the fact that I look like the Wicked Witch of the West and feel like my guts are being made into haggis, no I'm spectacular."  
>Mike rolled his eyes but relayed to Edward. "She threw up pretty badly. I don't know what happened, she didn't even stick her finger."<br>"I'll tell you what happened," I said glumly. "I ate alien food."  
>By now both of them were looking at me funny. "I think she's really sick," Edward said softly to Mike.<br>"Well, no, really, you think?" I just felt like going home. Honestly, I wasn't going to be nice to either of them for much longer.  
>They turned away from me. "I was taking her to the nurse," Mike said. "But she needed to stop."<br>"I'll take her," Edward said. "You can go back to class."  
>Immediately, I could tell that Mike would not agree to this. He was, after all, my-knight-in-shining-armor (at least, in his own mind he was).<br>"I'm supposed to take her," he said.  
>Oh, snap. We've got a showdown going on over here.<br>And then, Edward lifted me up in his arms.  
>"Forgive me if I don't swoon," I said dryly as he began walking towards the nurse's office.<br>"You look awful," he noted as we left Mike behind.  
>"Yeah, the zombies got to me. You should fear for your safety."<br>"Should I start carrying a gun with me?"  
>"Yeah. Who knows what those things will do for eating brains?"<br>He smiled as we entered the front office.  
>"Oh, my," someone said.<br>"She threw up in Biology," he informed them. "They were doing blood type testing."  
>"Oh, yes, there's always one."<br>"It's the pizza," I protested. "I just haven't been feeling well today."  
>He gently set me down on one of the mattress things, and I sat there, keeping my eyes closed.<br>"You can go back to class now," she told Edward.  
>"I'm supposed to stay with her," he said with a tone of authority. I shot him a look, but he just silently laughed.<br>"I'll go get a thermometer to measure your temperature," she said, then went to go rummage around in her cabinets.  
>"You look like a walrus, you know," I said, telling Edward.<br>"Do not."  
>I mimicked his motions. "Try again."<br>He kept trying to keep a straight face, so he just kept on having a smile slide on and off of his face. It looked pretty lame, so he just gave up and smiled.  
>"Where were you gallivanting off to, anyway?"<br>"Actually, I was in my car listening to a CD."  
>"That's all?"<br>"What, did you think I was out on the road, getting in to bar fights?"  
>"No, I fully expected you to be parachuting off of the Eiffel Tower."<br>He looked at me. "You are a strange person, Claire."  
>"Thanks. I try."<br>The nurse came back and I stuck it under my tongue. It beeped, and she checked it. "Well, you aren't running a fever, but you should go home so that you can rest."  
>I nodded. Soon Mike came in again, supporting some other kid in our Biology class. He led him into the office, and Edward left to go to the front desk. Mike started up a conversation with me.<br>"So what are you doing this weekend? Can you come to the beach?"  
>I smiled. "Sure, you'll see me there."<br>"We're meeting at my dad's store at ten."  
>"Okay, sure."<br>"Bye, Claire," he said as he went back to class. "I'll miss you in gym."  
>"See you."<br>He left, and I walked out to Edward. He made up a story to the receptionist with a suave air, and she let me skip the rest of the day. We walked out side, when we just sort of fell into silence. I then realized that I probably should be asking whether or not he'd come to the beach to me. Is that what a normal person would do? Ask him? But I mean, it's not like he can come anyway, so...? Oh, screw it.  
>"So, are you coming to the beach...place...thing?" I asked lamely.<br>"Hmmm... where is it?"  
>"La Push, the one that kind of looks like a crescent moon."<br>Oh, foreshadowing! La Push was a crescent moon and they were werewolves!  
>I was so busy congratulating myself on the somewhat late connection that I nearly missed his response entirely.<br>"Nah, I'll pass. It's not really my thing, as you would say."  
>"Oh, okay..."<br>We went all the way to the parking lot in silence, and I started humming the Star Wars theme song under my breath because I'm bored. I veer right towards where I'd parked my truck earlier, and Edward's hand pulls me back by tugging on my backpack.  
>"No, not that way, Claire. I'm taking you home."<br>"But...my baby!"  
>He rolled his eyes. "Your truck will be fine. I'll get Alice to take it home."<br>So I followed him to his car, already lamenting that it was brand-new. To each their own, but I love me a battered car. It started raining harder, and so when I slid into the passenger seat my shoes squeaked against each other. As he began driving, a song started playing.  
>"Clair de Lune?"<br>"You know Clair de Lune?"  
>"Yeah, I know it," I said. "My mom has always told me that that's my grandma's favorite song. Plus, my mom got a degree in music. I grew up living, eating, and breathing classical music."<br>"It's one of my favorites," he remarked.  
>I made a face. "Eh, it's okay. Not anywhere as good as Seventy-Six Trombones, though."<br>"And why do you say that?"  
>"Because-" I waved my hands. "Trombones."<br>After that, we drove mostly in silence until about thirty seconds later - okay, so it was really more of a pause, but whatever - he asked me, "So, what are your parents like?"  
>"She's great. I dunno. She majored in music, like I told you, so she sings and plays the piano a lot. She doesn't like The Lord of the Rings, so that's a bit of a downer, but she has redeemed herself by admitting that Harry Potter is awesome. My dad is a writer like me, and he's usually either in a really joking mood or I'm-not-taking-any-of-that-nonsense mood." By the time I'd finished, we were back at Charlie's house.<br>"What about your uncle?"  
>"Charlie?"<br>"Yes."  
>"He's wonderful. He reminds me to get enough sleep, which I am forever grateful for. Sleep is important, you know."<br>He laughs a little at that, before drifting off and then asking me, "Why did you come to Forks, Claire?"  
>Help.<br>Help. Help. Help.  
>What do I say?<br>"I plan on discovering Narnia, of course," I reply smoothly.  
>He rolls his eyes. "Claire..."<br>"Um, so I have a cousin named Bella. Well, she became my cousin after my uncle named Phil married her mom. Apparently, her mom and my mom wanted us to meet up and bond and all that jazz here, but then she didn't want to come because it's too green for her, so it's just me and Charlie."  
>"I prayed that this was how it all went down, because I honestly have no idea how Bella and I are related, so Uncle Phil seems like a plausible reason.<br>"So...why haven't you left already?"  
>"Because...I like it here. Every time I go into the forest, I can pretend I'm in a cool place, like Middle-Earth."<br>"Or Narnia," he supplied, seeming having given up on trying for answers.  
>I smiled. "Yeah, or Narnia."<br>"But really- why?"  
>"Do I need a reason?"<br>"People always have a reason."  
>"Do I look like people, Edward Cullen?"<br>He leaned back studying me.  
>"No," he decided. "No, you don't."<br>I silently congratulated myself on the Doctor Who reference before I felt a wave of nausea rise up again and remembered that I'd upchucked rather recently and that's why I needed to go home.  
>"You should probably go back to school and pick up your siblings before they decide to murder you for not picking them up or whatever it is that you do."<br>"Yes, I should."  
>"Well, then, I'll be seeing you later, Romeo."<br>"Good-bye, Juliet," he replied, mocking my attempt of mocking him.  
>I'd exited the car when he called after me, "And please don't fall in the ocean or anything like that, please? You seem to do things like that."<br>"Yes, mum," I said irritably.  
>He smiled at that, before starting up his car again.<br>He drove off after I'd entered the house, where I collapsed onto the sofa and promptly fell asleep.


End file.
